i dont wanna be.....

this week.... glad is almost over... oh so glad.... so, this has been one of the worst weeks ever. i finally got started with my show and i am uber-stressed about them. so much to do, and soo little frigging time. and in addition to that, so many issues with my family... i feel horrible about it, cause there is nothing i can do being up here, but still i feel like if i was to be down there i would make matters worse. i just wish my brother could see how smart and talented he is... i wish he wouldnt make comparissons. i feel like i need to screw up........ maybe i screw up and mess something up then i will be loved again... i dont wanna be 'miss goody two shoes' i hate being 'miss goody two shoes' aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh i only wanna make things right... but it wont work necer does and now i feel like the outcast i can only imagine how my brother must feel... it would suck to be in his shoes right now... i will miss him, i will miss you... but i know that this is the best for you, the most important thing is that you made this desicion yourself. about YOUR life. good luck, im right behind you supporting you the whole way. aaaaahhhh......... im so alone up here..... .................................